I began writing this… poem, something that I haven’t done since… I can’t remember for sure; English 12 seems so far away… Regardless, on THAT day, BEFORE You would finish the day by releasing me from the chains that held me for so LONG, freeing me from that living hell that I woke up to each day, believing that I was beyond Your CHARIS, letting me KNOW that I am STILL Yours…
To He who called me, from me, who ran,
May this pen and paper say more than my mouth can.
You know my torment, You know my shame,
You know my sorrow, from scorning Your name.
Not swearing by You or Your Son,
For I have always known that You are the One,
But by my decisions and the choices that I’ve made.
I have never even tried to be at the top my grade.
You have called me once, before all of this began,
I remember quite vividly: clinging as hard as I can
To the pew under my legs, as the blood left my hands…
… And then, hours later, after decades of TORMENT, You FREED me!
How can I express this JOY? How do I share it? Show me what to say; tell me where to go; lead me; guide me to share this GRACE, HOPE and JOY that I have been given back!
Left incomplete because on this VERY same day, you answered me, making me, who I believe to be the happiest man in the world.
Today, again, I am wondering why I get so impatient, looking to what is next, when in fact, I only have to wait and be available to you; being a ready recipient of the faith that you WILL give.
Oh Lord my God, change me and my clothes!